Send in the clowns

The two best managers in English football have lost their marbles. There is no other conclusion to draw from the weekend's FA Cup semi-finals.

Between them, Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger have won the Premier League 13 times in its 16 years of existence, and have seen their sides lift the FA Cup on nine occasions.

They are the men responsible for bringing to these shores such players as Schmeichel and Vieira, Ronaldo and Henry.

They are revered around the world for their tactical nous, their ability to spot a talent and for their well-judged, inspirational team-talks.

So why is it that Manchester United and Arsenal would both have been better off with a feral cat sitting in the dugout at Wembley?

We will start with United, the cause of whose demise is slightly easier to pinpoint - Fergie's selection of a group of players so infantile they looked like they should have been extras in a Danny Boyle movie or competing in an Olympic diving event.

Is it Early Doors, or are kids getting younger?

When Alan Hansen uttered the immortal words "you'll win nothing with kids" in August 1995, he was referring to the likes of David Beckham, Paul Scholes and Gary Neville who had all celebrated their 20th birthday.

Now it seems you have to bear significant physical similarities to a foetus before anyone even considers you to be young.

United's comical team that lost on penalties to Everton contained the barely-shaving likes of Danny Welbeck, Rafael and Fabio da Silva (all 18) and Federico Macheda (17).

Goodness only knows why Fergie did it, but ED suspects it is because he - like most United fans - is willing to sacrifice almost anything to ensure Liverpool do not win the Premier League.

You would never get him to admit it, but for Ferguson Wednesday's game against Portsmouth is more important than both the Everton semi-final and last week's Champions League semi-final in Porto.

It is less easy to accuse Wenger of wilful negligence, as his selections of Emmanuel Eboue and Lukasz Fabianski - aka Dumb and Dumber - were dictated by injuries rather than megalomania.

However, Wenger's decision to drop the brilliant Andrei Arshavin so he could deploy Denilson as some bizarre midfield hatchet man must rank among his worst as Arsenal boss.

True, Arsenal could have done with a Patrick Vieira-style enforcer, but they simply do not have such a player. Accordingly, they should just pick the best of what they do have, and Denilson is most definitely not that.

It is not that Denilson is a better tackler than Arshavin or the equally snubbed Samir Nasri; he is just so much worse at everything else that his defensive deficiencies appear less glaring.

Time and again he was left for dead by Frank Lampard and Michael Essien, clutching hopelessly at a blue shirt that was long gone.

And whenever he did get on the ball he might as well have put a little bow on it and formally presented it to a Chelsea player.

His best contribution was when the red mist descended and he pushed referee Martin Atkinson in the chest, but the official disappointed Gooners everywhere by only showing a yellow card.

While Ferguson and Wenger compiled their catalogue of errors, Guus Hiddink and David Moyes emerged triumphant by doing the little things right; little things like picking Didier Drogba instead of Miroslav Stoch and not deploying Tony Hibbert as a creative midfielder.

And when all was said and done, the grand old men of English football did the decent thing and accepted where responsibility lay - with the Wembley pitch.

Wenger called it "laughable" while Ferguson said it was "dead" and even blamed it for his team selection, adding: "When I saw the pitch what I didn't want was to go into extra time with my strongest squad."

Source: Eurosport